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"Take your oxygen mask off NOW" boomed in my head, my heart and every cell of my body.

It was January 2006, and I had just received a colonoscopy at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee. I was in the recovery room, surrounded by a multitude of patients who had just received a similar invasion. A young nurse, taking my blood pressure, looked at me with a horrified gaze. I demanded that she let me see the reading, and of course she refused but I was adamant, claiming that this was my body and that I had a right to know. So she turned the machine round so that I could view my abnormally high pulse rate.

Within a few seconds I was surrounded by half a dozen nurses, all with confused and panicked expressions on their faces. I guessed that this was not a normal experience for them. One considerate nurse pulled the curtains around my bed, I guess so as not to panic the other patients, and I remember thinking, "At least I can die with some privacy". I was left alone behind the curtain for a few minutes, all the while my heart refusing to slow down. I remember thinking, "My heart is beating almost five times a second". Fear set in as a headache began to appear.

If you've ever experienced a colonoscopy you will know that the bowel is filled with air so that the camera, on the end of what seems like a very long tube, can view what's going on inside you. So, logic will tell you that that air has to find its escape somehow. Yes, indeed, you fart it out. And so there I was, my heart beating 285 times a minute to a cacophony of flatulence. Looking back it is quite funny, to myself at least, but at the time I was in a state of terror. How much more degradation could I withstand?

"I'm not going to die to a chorus of farts" I said. "God, help me!" I demanded.

Then something really quite remarkable happened. As the headache became more intense, a deep sense of calm began to take hold of me, a feeling of peace embracing the fear that my heart might stop beating at any moment. In that state of surrender a very clear message of "Take your oxygen mask off NOW" reverberated throughout my body and mind. Without hesitation, I removed the mask, and within a few minutes my heart rate came back to normal levels. End of crisis.

Another time where I received a message so clear that I had no choice but to comply was in the summer of 2013. It was a Sunday morning, and I was in a state of anxiety. My business wasn't really heading in the direction I was wishing and willing it to go. I was a serial procrastinator with an ever-increasing sense of failure seeping deeper into me with every passing day. My website was very amateur, and clients were few and far between. I wasn't really allowing myself to get out there and be authentically me. I was hiding myself away, for fear of judgement and rejection. I was distracting myself from facing the truth, and very real possibility that my healing journey was all just a waste of time, that I was a fraudster and didn't know what I was doing. Let me digress for a minute.

You may know my story already. But if you don't, I will give you a brief version of my life over the past 13 years. I was diagnosed with HIV in 2003, whilst living in London. At the time I was being taught by Master Aiping Wang, a very powerful and wonderful spiritual teacher. I began my teaching with her in 2001, and two years into that my life fell to pieces. I fell to pieces. The good thing about falling to pieces is that you can rebuild yourself, fresh from scratch. So in 2005 I moved back home to Scotland to be with my family, not knowing if I was going to live, or die. I was a mess. A few months later, I found myself in Brazil at the feet of John of God, almost begging to be healed. Since then I have visited Brazil eight times, as well as developing my self through learning NLP, Life Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Theta Healing and Light Grids. I saturated myself with technique, but still not satisfied by what I was learning. Don't get me wrong, these techniques and modalities are wonderful. I just had reached a point where I had had enough. There must be something I could do to help reveal the sense of fulfilment I was sorely missing.

On this Sunday morning I had had enough. I felt lost, a feeling of total despair exploding from my chest. Then in a flash, I received guidance, and it was so real that I knew I shouldn't ignore it.

So I stopped doing what I was doing, and began to meditate. Within a few minutes, I knew I had to stop even this. Within minutes I was guided to watch a spiritual teacher called Gangaji, on YouTube. There are many videos of her online, and so for five hours I watched and listened to her, consuming every word, every teaching and message. Her teaching was basically STOP. DO NOTHING. Of course, I was blown away by this whole message. It was such a validation of the inner knowing that had whispered loudly in my heart just a few hours before. That Sunday morning changed my life, it changed the way I work, the way I communicate and the way I see the world.

Let me be clear about the message of stopping and doing nothing. This is easy to interpret as a promotion of sitting back, being idle and trusting that life will land in your lap. This isn't what it means. For me, it means stop thinking, stop identifying with life situations, beliefs, values, concepts and ideas of who you think you are, and just be. Be still, be silent, and revel in the power that reveals itself from the mysterious depths of nothingness, an emptiness so full of potential. This same message was given to me by Aiping Wang before I became infected, but I was so full of myself that I couldn't understand what was being shared at that time. So my experience with Gangaji allowed me to experience something so rich and beautiful. For five full days I experienced life like never before. Everything and everyone was bathed in a soft velvety richness, a deep peace embalming every expression around me. It was truly wonderful.

So what is the point of my telling you this?

All too often we ignore the soft whisperings of our soul, of our guides, or angels, or whoever is on the other side of the veil, supporting us. I see that it is so easy to live by the stories of who we think we are, of who we wish to become. In this mental and emotional hypnosis, it is so easy to become en-tranced by the notion that somehow we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not talented enough, not tall enough ... Oh this list is endless. Basically, we move through life in a bondaged state, claiming that we are just not enough.

Our stories, our dreams, our wishes, our perverse versions of past events, our judgements and opinions just keep us in a busy-ness of mind, perpetuating this pretence that we are something other than what we are. It is so easy to fall prey to the allure of a better future, or to heal a damaged past, all the while missing what is here right now. Of course, I talk of the NOW, the present moment where an awareness of stillness lies dormant, waiting to be discovered. This is what I accessed, and continue to access more frequently. In these moments of deep stillness and peace beyond understanding, a surrender and acceptance of life appears, an awareness of something so much more powerful than what appears on the surface of life. In these moments, the whispering guidance is heard. And in those moments opportunities for change are there for the taking.

In those two instances I shared with you where I had reached a point of danger and despair, I believe I reached a state of inner surrender, where my guidance could be heard. The reason I share these two occasions with you is because I acted on them, and because of those actions, my life was saved and transformed. How many more messages have gotten lost in the barrage of thoughts in my undisciplined mind? How many opportunities have I missed while rehashing old memories of how I was damaged by life, or by projecting my mind into a utopian future where all my hurts have been healed?

I have learned to be more present to what is here now, no matter what that is, no matter if it is wonderfully joyful or horrendously desperate. This is how I now live my life, and how I work with clients. It is how I write and how I heal.

And for NOW, I will leave it there.

David Rabone copyright 21,11,14

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One cold wet morning I stood waiting for the bus wrapped up in my duffle coat, minding my own business after my daily morning swim. An old man stared at me and looked intently into my eyes, I raised my head in acknowledgement expecting a similar response and yet his gaze remained fixed on me.

The bus pulled up and I got on and sat with my face turned away, wondering, is it so obvious? Is that what people see?

He was right of course and had captured my life at that time; I was so sad and so alone and felt lost in so many ways. Almost 30 years later and I still remember how the old man had seen through me and into my heart.

A year before, my brother in law had committed suicide. My brother had been a father figure to me in many ways and after losing him, I carried that grief around with me, everywhere I went. On that particular day, the old man reminded me that it hadn't gone away.

A few Years before that aged 19, I held my mom in my arms after she had had a stroke and was scared and needed comforting. I quietly consoled her as she slept and little by little over the coming months, she recovered, however the experience had left its mark on me.

Worse still was to follow, as the realisation of the fragility of our lives was brought home to me in the most devastating of ways over the next few years.

At this time I was in a relationship that wasn't working and one that was draining any self worth I had. I had a 2 year old daughter and I was scared to leave the relationship for fear of not seeing her but I was pushed to the point of no return. I went back home to my parents as the stress was so bad that I had actually lost control of my bodily functions and could not control my bowels. This will tell you the measure and amount of stress I was under, all accumulative over many years.

I told my Dad, I was struggling and he said "Well, if you come home, how much will you give your mother for housekeeping?" In that moment I knew I had nowhere to go, except back to the stressful situation I was living in.

I carried on for a while however I was having panic attacks and was diagnosed with chronic anxiety. I was in fight and flight mode daily and eventually I cracked and was forced to leave the terrible situation I was in. Once more and I went back to my parents house, although I desperately wanted to go back to my daughter and it broke my heart.

That night at my parents, I had a bath and my legs went numb, I couldn't actually feel my legs and my body had pins and needles all over for 72 hours. I was in such a state, emotionally and physically thinking that there was no way out, I had given up and I thought everything was lost.

Sometime after I noticed a lump in my groin. I hobbled down to the doctors who took a look and said, "I will give you a prescription for some anti inflammatory cream, put it on and if it doesn't go, then come back and see me again".

I returned home that night with my prescriptive cream however slowly became increasing ill and in the early hours I hobbled around to the hospital who prodded and poked me for 12 hours whilst all the time I was getting sicker and sicker.

I don't remember anything else until the next day, waking up in hospital and hearing that I had had an operation to remove a growth.

I was kept in for a couple of days and told me they had sent off something for a biopsy to the lab and I was to go back home and rest; they would call me back in to give me the results.

A few weeks went by and my girlfriend announced she was 3 months pregnant. My hospital appointment had come through for the same week that we found out the news.

I am not sure if I took in any of what he said, I don't really remember much, only that a Macmillan nurse would come around and see me and we would begin treatment as soon as possible.

A few days later I went back to swimming but my immune system was so low that I caught athletes foot. It began to spread into an infection and I was hospitalised for two weeks on intravenous antibiotics as this had aggravated the lymphoma. I think it was at this point it really hit me how ill I was.

I had 2 year old daughter, a son on the way and no money. We were given a cooker and a bed from a charity as I could no longer work and ours had broken; I felt ashamed and very depressed.

I did find a way, or rather it found me. I found solace in Yoga, meditation and natural therapies. The first person I rang for help was a woman who went on to write a book about love. However here was a valuable lesson about hypocrisy, I rang her and said I needed some help, that I was unwell and she said "Yes, you can come and see me, it will be £50." I said I have no money and that was the end of that conversation.

As I was so stressed at the time I was on a 140 mg of betablockers daily, to control my chronic anxiety, however they didn't even touch the sides. I didn't want to go home as my home life was so bad and had no where really to go and get some peace, so I sat in a hospital spare room no bigger than a box with my walkman and a relaxation tape that I listened to for hours alone.

I also went to the local cancer support group within the hospital and I was the only one remaining after 2 years of those people I originally met. Again I was to use this as motivation to co-create a sanctuary for anyone who wants to come and have some time to themselves and have HOPE.

I won't go into the details of my recovery here, as part of that has been documented on my website. All I will add is that it was 7 years in the making, with some miraculous coincidences. I grew stronger and although my nature has always been the same, I changed dramatically.

I had fallen into my calling and as I began to use the skills I had learned in that time, I set up a holistic therapy practice at The University Of Birmingham. I had gained diplomas in nutrition, aromatherapy, reflexology, massage, EFT, NLP and so much more, however the real diploma was in the experience I had lived through.

I had also started teaching Pranayama Yoga which was to become the foundation for my living and perhaps at the time, the single biggest influence in my life.

After working for some time in a hospice as a volunteer, I learned what really matters in life and it was around this time that my relationship with my ex broke down completely and I moved out.

5 months afterwards, my son became so ill that he began to waste away and dropped to 5st in weight. At his weakest point, he was robbed of his car, attacked and beaten up by three drunken addicts who eventually were caught and sentenced to two years imprisonment. He was 17 years old.

The battle to keep my son was long and exhausting and in the time that followed he had several operations. He had abcesses on his spine, septseamia, mrsa and chrons disease however that was just the beginning.

I battled for my son to be granted a certain protocol over the next 5 years of which perhaps a month never went by without us being at the hospital. I gave all I could give and developed a closeness with my son that became so connected that if he smiled and was ten miles away I knew.

My son came out of hospital for the last time as an in-patient, after being in for another 3 weeks. The same day I buried my dad.

26 years on from my diagnosis of non hodgkin's lymphoma, I am perhaps more driven now than at any other time. I am happy that I can offer those who need it, a resting place just like I did and often still do. That place is Birmingham Holistic Health Centre.

If you are reading this and going through a terrible time, let me tell you something I used to tell my son. When he was 15, I would say "This is just page 15 of your life and page 16 will be different and like the best stories you read, there is drama, loss, gain and so much more. It is so important to see your life as a story and if you are hurting to know that there is more of the story to come.

Over the last 26 years, working with thousands of individuals, I have learned how to forgive, what compassion is, how powerful we really are and what true humility is. I have also learned that we cannot do this alone and I have been graced by a few who still remain my close allies in this life.

You are not alone and have an open invitation to come and visit me and our centre anytime.

Stuart Morris
Call me at the Centre 0121 246 3303
Or visit www.birminghamholistic.co.uk

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This act of finding something valuable when you are not looking for it occurred when I was 31 ...

A personal trauma had rocked my world and I had become a shadow of my former self. My husband had died very suddenly aged 34, leaving me a young widow at just 30. The shock had affected me on a deep level. I couldn't sleep. It was like I was frozen. I decided to study Indian Head Massage to try to relax my stressed mind. I enjoyed the course but still couldn't sleep.

"I know something that will ease your insomnia. Have you ever heard of Reiki?". One of the students, Carmel, was looking at me with kind eyes. She invited me to her house to have a 20 minute taster of Reiki and a cup of tea. She explained that I would lie on a therapy couch and she would place her hands over my head and body to ease and release the tension that I was holding in my head.

 I thought 'I need a miracle'  ...
And that is simply what happened.

I liked the feeling of heat from her hands ... It was soothing and I fell asleep. I went home and slept soundly for 2 hours. I knew that I had come across something that would start me on my journey to recovery. I found Reiki.

In 2002, I decided that I wanted to learn Reiki so that I could 'share the wonder'. Whilst studying level 2 Reiki, I became friendly with a group of the students. One of them had a party at their house. It was at this party that I met Stuart Morris ... It was another serendipitous moment!

Stuart told me about his healing journey and I knew instinctively that I could trust him. I knew he could help me along my healing journey. I decided to have healing treatments from Stuart. He helped me in so many ways with his sessions of reflexology, massage, EFT and postitive affirmations. He has been such a fantastic catalyst in my own healing journey. Bereavement is such a powerful emotion!! Stuart has helped me to work through all the layers.

In 2010, Stuart Morris opened up his dream centre 'The Birmingham Holistic Centre'. He asked me to offer Reiki Sessions in his unique centre. I started to offer Reiki sessions on a Tuesday and absolutely loved it. In 2012, Stuart asked me if I would like to help him to manage the centre. I was honoured by his request. There is something very tranquil about the centre and just being there has healed me on many levels.

We have all been to the 'University of Life'. We deal with life's trials and tribulations on a daily basis. When I was 30, I was loving life running our catering business and tea room. Eamonn's sudden passing tripped me up. I couldn't deal with all the emotions and became stuck in grief. Thankfully, I found Reiki and the Birmingham Holistic Centre. I had a fantastic support network from my family and friends. Stuart Morris was a catalyst in my healing journey.

In 2009 I married Clive. We met at our local chocolate factory Cadbury's. He has also embraced Reiki and we both have a great interest in the healing ability of crystals.

My life experiences have encouraged me to be grateful for everything that we have. Life is what we make it.

Julie Chipperfield-Carr

email: reikijulie@live.co.uk

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I was brought up within a very musical family, on a farm, just on the border of South Cheshire and North Staffordshire, South of Manchester.

I was always singing as a child. My first impromptu solo performance happened when I was 2 and a half years old for the church anniversary, much to everyones surprise including my mother and also my father, who was conducting! I must have been listening to everyone singing when I was taken along to the rehearsals over the previous weeks.

On the day of the service I suddenly burst forth with a solo at the top of my voice. I don't think anyone knew what to do about it so they just let me sing. When people came in the early evening for a repeat performance i decided not to sing a note. In fact I fell asleep. I think maybe my first performance at this early age had taken its toll on me. Thats children for you!!! 

I went to college to study music, piano and voice. I had always been aware that some invisible force was directing and guiding me in everything I was doing. I was having many visions and spiritual experiences which I didn't totally understand at the time and it was not until 12 years ago that I had the confirmation of what had been happening to me when I attended the Teacher Training, Angel and Ascension 3 week intensive course in Bergerac, South France with Diana Cooper.

I went to a meditation evening and heard someone play a single crystal bowl which took me straight to the Angelic Realms, every cell of my body began to tingle and I knew immediately these were to be my new set of musical instruments. I also had a knowing that I had played these instruments before at concerts in Atlantis. I began to run workshops and healing sessions and had amazing results.

I recreated, guided from spirit, Celestial Light Healers with the Masters of Light and began to organise Events all over the country, especially Angel Awareness Day with Diana.

Suddenly in 2010, I was stopped completely and was diagnosed with very painful severe osteoarthritis by the hospital consultant and was to have an operation within a few months.

I was in total shock. My wonderful healer dog Telsa, who had been working as my healing partner and had recently passed to spirit, came every night for a week to lie on my bed, she was healing me. After this time she told me she had done all she could and now, it was up to me. During this time I was lying at one side of my bed in severe pain and at the same time I was being cocooned by Spirit to write the C.R.O.S.S, Crescendo Reiki Of Sacred Sound Healing course with Thoth! It was like being out of my body, in two separate dimensions at the same time.

As the date had been organised for my operation I went to hospital wondering if I should really be there, especially as the other patients were so much worse than I was. I felt a bit of a fraud.

Within 20 minutes one of the medical staff came to tell me they hadn't enough time for my operation as the patient before me had taken longer than expected and they had run out of theatre time. He said they would ring me the next day with an operation date for the following week.

I jumped out of my hospital bed, got dressed and was out of the hospital like a shot. I decided then that I was not to have the operation. This gave me the inspiration to carry on doing what i could to heal myself. When the Consultant's secretary telephoned me the next day, I said I wanted to postpone the operation for now but would like to see the consultant in 3 months time.

I saw the Consultant the following December. He couldn't believe it when I walked in. He asked me what I had been doing. I told him about the sound healing and rose hip and he seemed very interested and curious. He told me to continue what I was doing and if I was ever in pain in the future contact the hospital to see him.

I felt exhilarated even though I wasn't sure what the future would hold. I was on a mission with the Angels for my healing and that is all I could think of for the moment.

I began teaching my new CROSS sound course together with my other teaching courses and Events and didn't looked back.

It is now 5 years since I was diagnosed with an x-ray for severe osteoarthritis.

Two years later in 2012, I went on a trip to Israel, Jordan and then Egypt where I climbed Mount Sinai, singing and playing my crystal bowls at the top of this truly amazing place!!! An experience I will never forget!

Earlier this year i went to see my son Joe's best friend, who is a chiropractor, for a session. He took an X-ray of my hip and it looked totally different and most of the diseased part had disappeared.

Bless you and thank you Angels of Light

Love and blessings

Rosemary xxx

Author of TELSA, published by Findhorn Press








Walking the path of life's miracles - Angel Alison Ward

Over time I was able to accept the changing form from within, this acceptance grew to liking the reflection and the person named Alison then it grew to loving her . Now twenty years later, I openly embrace and celebrate my reflection even with the grey hairs and wrinkles!

One gift that became apparent was my gift to channel source effortlessly. I simply get out of the way and allow the teachings to channel out of my mouth to the recipient. I have observed with awe at the ego and how it performs in each person I meet. It's a cunning fox, a slippery fish and a naughty toddler at times but when one works with the ego, a peaceful stand-off ensues drawing respect from each side. You see the gifts once found, owned and nurtured grow and develop bringing in further gifts to inspire others in need of receiving them. They are totally unique and varied but all designed and created to be of true service to others.

Today I am a happy 50 year old woman who gets absolute pleasure and fulfilment by sharing her gifts with the world, my life is not without challenges, we are human and not meant to hit perfection but there is always a huge sense of peace underlying everything that I do and be-come. I do not live in the past, forgiveness has given me peace. My story is simply there to be shared to hopefully inspire YOU the reader into action. Put simply my learned philosophy is :

Calm after Grief - Debbie Hartill

I remember having to go and break the news that night to my eldest daughter who was incredibly close to her brother. It was the hardest thing I will ever have to do in my life, each family member being devastated by the news. That night I remember lying on the bed with my Mum we just held each other all night, I must have eventually fallen asleep for a short time because when I woke for a split second I couldn't remember - then the reality hit me - Richard was gone.

Christmas Day came and I managed to cook for all the family we raised a glass for him and presents were opened I felt numb but I knew we had to make the effort for my younger daughter Holly who was 3 years old at the time. New Year was awful I remember staring up at the sky through my bedroom window crying listening to all the fireworks exploding and people celebrating seeing the New Year in and thinking how much I wanted to hold Richard and tell him how much I loved him. Feeling so sad that he should be here celebrating the New Year too.

 

 

Over the next 4 years life was hard struggling to come to terms with the loss of my son. That was until I first experienced the wonders of Reflexology and Reiki. Having these therapies on a regular basis along with counselling really helped me and gradually in time I started to feel better. I could cope better and felt more positive about my life.

 

January 2013 was when my whole life changed. As I had mentioned previously, I had had various jobs and they just didn't feel right for one reason or another. I needed to take time out and decide exactly what I was going to do and that's exactly what I did ...

Where do I begin? - Sarah Page

 

When you are the kind of child that cries when hearing the theme tune to Black Beauty (a series about a horse made in the 70's), you know the signs are there that you are a little more sensitive than most.

 

This is why I believe the real empathic, intuitive and sixth sense psychic abilities that I have now, were blocked for many years.

Indeed, I found much of my early life very challenging, if not very hard at times. I was often locked in controlling, domineering and sometimes cruel experiences, which meant I really didn't safely start opening up until mid 2003 at the age of 34.

During this Angelic healing I saw and experienced the energy of what I now have come to realise was Archangel Michael. I started experiencing visions which would help me know what was coming, or to help make crucial decisions.

Two of these visions included a message informing me that I was going to sell my house and told me when, and because it was so accurate it gave me confidence to move out and rent a flat in Birmingham City Centre before the sale had completed, in the hope of regaining my life back.

Moving on from these events, much happened in the next few years, I truly did start to go out and live again, forming a new relationship, being attuned to a healing modality, learning to read the tarot, studying Counselling and Philosophy, and beginning to meditate.

However none of this quite prepared me for what was about to happen in September 2007. The new relationship I had been in, which in itself was really quite dysfunctional, ended with him meeting someone else and getting engaged to her within weeks. Couple this with a fall out with a couple of friends, and I felt like the world was turning on me. I felt humiliated (apparently this is a great tool of awakening, to breaking down the ego, to truth and from your own illusion).

I had what I now see as a dark night of the soul. I almost had a breakdown, and everything I thought my life was about, was being turned upside down, and as the illusions fell away, the true me began to be revealed, my old self was dying, and the time for me to walk the path of self-realisation, had truly arrived.

 

 

Seven years on from these events and having done a lot of self-work, spent time in Ashram, no longer drinking alcohol, becoming vegetarian, living in many ways like a nun (as I jokingly call it), and having many more visions and deeply spiritual experiences, I am learning so much more about myself, my path and what brings me joy.

I began to heal my inner child, and the woman that suffered so much and hid her wounds with her smiles, laughter and lipstick began to disappear. The journey has been about becoming more of who I was meant to be, and my smiles come now from a deeper inner sense of peace, serenity and joy, my purpose, my loving, serving and being creative, and so many other things. Most of which are only made wonderful and precious by those who seek my help and services, and by my relationships with my friends and close family.

 

You see in order to become who you truly are, you have to lose everything you are not ....

And the journey is about revealing who we truly are, the becoming is the awareness of that, but we are already there to begin with, it's just covered by stuff like beliefs, conditioning, expectations, experiences, and the cultures we are born into.

Until next time, much love and peace

Sarah Page - www.helperangel.co.uk is offering year ahead psychic readings for December and January for £40, as a special offer to Health & Happiness readers.

Especially take note of the monthly Soul Evolve Groups, these will be gatherings for spiritual and personal development . Happening happen the second Tuesday of each month the first one is 9th December 2014 - 7pm - 9.30pm, at Wylde Green Community Hall, Emscote Drive, Sutton Coldfield, B73 5NE. It costs £10 per person or bring a friend and they only pay £5 (or share the £15 cost between you). More details can be found online, or contact Sarah direct at helperangel@hotmail.co.uk for further details.