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Natural healthy pregnancy
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Early years challenges - keeping a perspective on parenting challenges
10 Point Plan To Help Children Towards Success And Happiness
Coping with a child who is special and has special needs
Raising a child spiritually
Teenage challenges, and how to help your teen to not follow the crowd
Raising your child's self esteem using positive affirmation (These beautiful cards can be used to reinforce positive self-image and self-esteem in your children)
Simple steps to nurture your child's soul
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Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven
Our children need to dream, to visualise, to create inner pictures and let their imagination open up to it's fullest potential. To achieve this I believe that they need quiet time, stillness and peace.
Simple steps to nurture your child's soul by Sarah Smith read more
Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven...
this quote never fails to make me smile, and brings a lump to my throat at the same time. Anyone who looks after children can appreciate that this life is a busy, busy one! It is so easy to get caught up in the frantic, non-stop social whirl which many parents feel is for the good of their children. A constant barrage of dance classes, music lessons, club activities; mix this with the never-ending round of children's TV, video games and social media, and it's no wonder many of today's children struggle to focus, to concentrate, to 'just be'.
Our children need to dream, to visualise, to create inner pictures and let their imagination open up to it's fullest potential. To achieve this I believe that they need quiet time, stillness and peace.
Why rush around every day? What are you achieving? Each day I always make time for ME. To be still, reflect inwardly, meditate for a few minutes and I encourage my daughter to do the same. Here are a few ways in which I encourage my child to be more aware of herself and to contact with spirit. It only takes a few minutes each day but the rewards are there for all to see.
- The most important part of our day is called 'our sharing time'. This happens every night just before bedtime. We sit together on the bed and I ask her how she is feeling and what type of a day she has had. This is 'our time' and because we do this every day, my daughter opens up to me and knows that this is a time for complete trust. This is a lovely part of the day, and an ideal time to find out if something is bothering her. I usually ask her if she has been loving and kind, and whether everyone has been loving and kind to her. This is a good time for us both to express our feelings, and for me to find out if anything is bothering her. A time when she has my undivided attention and me hers. I listen to her and let her know that her opinions and insights are valuable.
- If anything has been upsetting or worrying for her, we perform a simple little ceremony called the 'Magic Gold Hat' ceremony, where she is encouraged to pop any worries, hurts or upset into the magic gold hat, turn it around in her hands three times and visualise the problems dissolving and disappearing. This is a wonderful way for my daughter to resolve issues and to find solutions in her mind. We then say prayers, you don't have to follow any particular religion. Sometimes we meditate, and we find it enjoyable and inspiring.
- We get outdoors as often as possible. We go to the park, get close to nature, invent magical stories in the woods, camp under the stars .... these things all instill a feeling of wonder and awe. Sadly this seems to be lacking in some children I meet these days.
- We visit special spiritual places often. We love to visit churches, ashrams, sacred sites, temples where we both gain perspective, enjoy quiet times together and appreciate other religions and cultures.
- And most of all, I teach my daughter the power of prayer. If someone is hurt or suffering, sad or lonely, I pray with my daughter, asking the universe to send love and light to releive the pain and suffering. I know this results in a compassionate and very loving child, who is not afraid to express her feelings.
These are all things I do on a regular basis, and I know that I benefit from these simple actions as much as my child does. You don't have to do all of these things, just a walk in the park now and again, and one to one time spent every day where you really listen to your child helps to develop a stronger bond and the benefits, emotionally and spiritually are immeasurable.
A Very Helpful And Simple Good Parenting Principle
10 Point Plan To Help Children Towards Success And Happiness
It is widely known and recognised that even very young children are affected by the marketing images portrayed by designer clothing companies, pop groups, football icons, TV, media, etc these days. We live in a world where there is so much emphasis on measuring up to a uniform standard as shown in magazines and on television. We are all to aware of the pressures of school, emphasis on academic achievement, peer pressure, bullying, obesity and anorexia in school age children. Children are even being prescribed medication to keep them calm and for depression. All this highlights the overwhelming desire of children to conform/'fit in' and perceived low self esteem in their own beauty and talents. If children were encouraged to believe in their own uniqueness they would not need to aspire to be something other than themselves.
1 Unconditional love
From this moment choose to love your child unconditionally. Think about what that means for a moment. To love unconditionally is simply to love without conditions or stipulations. Not conditional upon doing well in school, not conditional upon being a 'good' little boy or girl just to be loved for being themselves! To give your child the gift of growing up knowing that they are loved unconditionally is to empower them for a lifetime!
Your child loves you unconditionally and shows it - now its your turn.
2 Show your love
Say 'I Love You' all the time. Give lots of kisses and hugs. Let it be natural and part of your lives. Encourage your child to know that he/she is an amazing human being who has the ability to do and to become exactly what he or she dreams of. Encourage your child to follow his/her heart. Where there is passion, there is success.
3 Quiet time together
Turn the television/play-station/PC off and take time to sit with your child, play with your child, read with your child, just be with your child. Encourage quiet time for reflection, conversation, relaxation and creative pursuits. You'll find that all the family will benefit from this. Whatever you are doing, give your child undivided attention from your mind, body and spirit/soul. Listen to what your child has to say, don't listen with one ear and your mind on what you have to do next. Look your child in the eye, stand facing them. Smile. Laugh.
You will never experience these precious, special times again so make the most of them. If you are playing half heartedly, your child will know. Whatever time, love and attention you give to your child now will be repaid to you and to them a 100 times over in later life. Your child will always know that you are one of the first people to turn to and who will always listen. You may not always have the answers but empathise, be honest and sincere. What a privilege to be the confidant of a child.
4 Monitor negative situations
Be discriminative in what television programmes, books, comics, magazines, films your child sees and reads. In this age of high technology we are subjected to every seeming disaster in the world. The scenes are distressing for adults - it's not necessary for children to see and hear them, certainly not in such graphic detail. 'Soaps', reality shows and even cartoons come into this because children are not always aware of what is fact and what is fiction. Don't go to the extreme and stop your child from watching all television, soaps, etc. Be balanced about the whole idea, just be aware and limit his/her viewing of programmes which are too violent, too grown up. Notice if adults are talking 'doom and gloom' within your child's hearing and don't do it yourself. Yes, of course children need to be made aware of the dangers in life but actively help your child to look for the positive side of situations, events and life.
Children appear to begin to lose their own unique individuality upon starting school and for one reason or another decide that it is easier to 'fit in' and become one of the crowd rather than perhaps be themselves and 'stand out' and leave themselves open to bullying or ridicule. We parents play our part by buying fashionable clothing, footwear, accessories, The Toy of the Minute. It's all part of our modern day life. Even quite young children are reported to be depressed and showing physical signs of stress because they don't feel 'good enough'; they don't have the correct image, the designer clothing. They judge themselves and others and so critical, fearful, negative thought patterns are created.
5 Positive thought and talk, affirmations - mirror work
You can however help your child to change negative thoughts and hence negative speech by the use of Positive Affirmations (Positive Affirmations are positive statements said in the first person singular and in the present tense). A fast effective method of changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts is to say Positive Affirmations looking into your eyes holding a mirror. It bounces the positive thought deep into the subconscious. Children love mirror-work - it's fun. You can even do this with babies. Babies love to look at themselves in a mirror and you can say all the wonderful things for them Encourage your child to say their affirmations regularly. You can find Positive Affirmation books nowadays to help you. Buy some coloured cards, decorate them with glitter and stickers and ask your child to write their own Affirmations.
6 Some examples of positive affirmations
I AM UNIQUE AND SPECIAL
THERE IS NOBODY QUITE LIKE ME
AND I HAVE UNIQUE GIFTS AND TALENTS
I LEARN NEW THINGS EVERY DAY
I HAVE A LOVELY SMILE
I BELIEVE IN MYSELF
I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND
I ALWAYS LOOK FOR SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERYONE
I KNOW I AM SPECIAL AND HERE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
I MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE IN MANY SPECIAL WAYS
I ENJOY AND USE THE TALENTS I HAVE
I TREAT EVERYONE AS I WANT TO BE TREATED
I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE MY THOUGHTS
I LOVE MYSELF EXACTLY AS I AM
When doing the mirror-work with your child, (Yes, you can do it too!) say …. " and Mummy/Daddy/Whatever Your Relationship to the child say so too!!" after each affirmation. If your child is experiencing specific difficulties, it is very effective to create a personalised affirmation, e.g:
I LIKE TO READ ALOUD AND DO IT EASILY
I CAN DO ALL MY SUMS/SPELLINGS EASILY
JACK/EMMA IS ALWAYS MY FRIEND
I AM HAPPY GOING TO SLEEP
I AM FIT AND HEALTHY
Positive self talk soon become beliefs which build confidence and self esteem.
7 Visualisation
Another way to help your child to change a negative situation into a success story is to help him/her to visualise themselves attaining their goals. Encourage them to 'see' themselves winning the race, passing the maths test, being chosen for the sports team, etc. Visualisation is very effective whether your child is aspiring to achieve an ambition or needs to overcome a problem. Ask your child to tell the story of what they are doing, how they look, what they are feeling, who is there, what they are wearing, what kind of day it is, where it is, the sounds, the smells, in fact every possible thing imaginable surrounding the event for when their dream comes true; when they overcome their problems. If your child is old enough he/she could then write the 'story' he/she has created in his/her mind. What we visualise we often go on to achieve and sometimes visualisation like this can bring the answers to a problem where fretting and worrying only makes it worse.
8 Make time for sharing some physical activities
It can be something very simple like a walk in the park or drive out into the country, to the seaside, maybe an outing requiring more planning such as a football match or swimming, whatever the occasion make it fun, relaxed, a time when you can all just 'be in the moment' You'll be surprised how much you enjoy sharing these times which will become wonderful happy memories. Encourage your child to see the beauty in the natural world; trees, flowers, the sea, animals. Collect leaves, pebbles, shells while enjoying your day out. Examine them and discuss how they are all different. That's the same as people - we are all different and each of us has our own unique gifts, talents and qualities which we can use to help make our world a beautiful place to live in.
9 Cause and effect
Encourage your child to live to this philosophy. Let your child know that you believe that 'what you give out in thought, word and deed comes back to you'. If you are kind, thoughtful, forgiving, helpful, generous then all those nice, positive things come back to you. If however you are bad tempered, mean spirited, hurtful with words, talk about others, a bully etc, etc then all those nasty, negative situations will come back to you. It's a perfect method for discipline also. Your child will think twice about possible naughty actions if he/she knows that they will suffer repercussions themselves. A child who lives by this principle learns to trust and value his/her thoughts and actions. He/she knows he/she is living to the best he/she can. Help your child to understand that we are all made up of Mind, Body and Spirit and that there is a Universal Power of Good that can be called upon in good times as well as bad times. Encourage your child to trust in this Power.
10 Do it yourself
Learn to live your life by all the above principles. It's not possible to tell your child how to live in order to realise their own beauty and self worth if you are not living by the same philosophy. You'll be amazed at how your own life will change for the better and thrilled at the difference in your child. Remember this is a way of life and practice makes perfect. Children are able to adapt a lot easier and sooner to these concepts because they don't have so many preconceived ideas and conditioning.
11 PS
This was supposed to be a 10 point plan and No: 11 is just a little bit of extra help:
You won't always be the positive super parent you are trying so hard to be - don't worry no-one is. Just make it fun and relaxed.
Admit to your child you don't have all the answers. Just let him/her know you'll be honest enough to say so. Apologise if you make a mistake
This is a simple way of life but it's not always an easy way of life because it appears that everyone else is determined to be so negative! However trying equals loving so just keep trying. You'll soon find so many benefits you won't worry about other people
You are your child's best teacher and your child is your best teacher - together you'll have the time of your lives and plant the seeds of love, confidence and the knowledge of inner beauty and greatness inside you both.
By Dianne Pegler and Deborah Woodmansee
Positive affirmation cards for children
Read these colourful cards to your children every day, and if they can read for themselves, encourage your children to read them for themselves, whilst looking in the mirror. You will be amazed at the results. My daughter delights in them and reads them aloud to herself every day.
